Carl Clover's Vigilante Think Time
by NoOneImportantHere
Summary: Carl Clover has a lot to think about. It's too bad people keep interrupting him in new and incredibly stupid ways. Whether in the bath, at the park or on the beach everyone seems to want in on Carl Clover's business. Everyone also seems to be going insane. Or maybe Carl's just going insane. Any shipping that occurs in this story is 100% Crack so enjoy.
1. Tao drops in

"What's happening to me?" This was of course a rhetorical question as of course Carl knew what was happening to himself. What was happening you may ask? Why that awkward part in any young boy's life. That strange first step into adulthood that we all had to go through. Puberty. And man was puberty having it's way with dear Carl.

"I thought soaking in a bathtub would clear my head but it's not helping at all. Maybe I'll just sit here for a few more minutes." Ignoring the oddity that was the act of talking to himself Carl was currently contemplating spending another hour sitting in a warm bathtub filled with bubbles and little rubber ducks as he tried very hard to figure himself out. It wasn't even really a bath as he was was wearing swim trunks. This was Vigilante think time and bubbles and ducks and swim trunks were part of the process. Naturally.

The changes didn't start immediately but by now they had a hard grasp on the young man's mind. It was mainly caused by something most boys are greatly affected by. The opposite sex and all the mysteries that these terrifying, confusing, wonderful and astonishing creatures held. And Carl knew quite a few of these enigmas known as females. One thing Carl did understand about his female companions was that they were all incredibly attractive. _Too_ attractive. "Why can't I get them out of my head. They're my friends and I shouldn't be thinking about them this way, right? It this what growing up feels like? Just looking at a beautiful girl and suddenly thinking odd thoughts?"

"I don't think you've grown up too much Shorty, meow."

"Well maybe not physically Tao but I mean in a- **TAO?!** " While Carl was lost in thought it seems Taokaka, who was currently mooching off of him and had no business anywhere near his bathroom, had decided to enter said bathroom unannounced. And was currently invading his personal space and whose face was currently far past comfort levels with his own. "Why are you here in my bathroom?! Get out before I get Ada to throw you out!"

"That's not very nice Shorty! You didn't mind when I came in 5 minutes ago. Tao's staying, meow!" ' _5 minutes ago? When exactly did Tao let herself in?'_ It was at this moment that Carl had noticed Tao was currently not wearing her normal Kaka Clan cat suit. She was in her underwear and wearing some kind of modified hood or face wrap. You could only see her eyes and mouth like always but her long blond hair was completely unwrapped and her brown skin was completely exposed. Considering that Tao's underwear was basically a modified sling bikini Carl was certainly not trained on her face. Tao was entirely oblivious.

"Tao please put some clothes on! You're not decent!"

"Shorty was in here foreeeeever! Tao needs a bath too you know, meow!"

"I'll get out when YOU get out! Just leave for a minute!"

"Shorty took too long so Tao's getting in!" With that the cat girl got into a proper pouncing position. Like a lioness stalking it's prey Tao was ready to leap at any moment. Carl couldn't be anymore embarrassed if he tried. "Heeeere I Come!" And pounce.

" **Wah**!" With a strong manly cry of a prepubescent girl Carl was indeed pounced on by Taokaka. Closing his eyes Carl braced for the inevitable impact. With a splash and some audible quacking from the rubber ducks Tao had entered the bath. Too embarrassed to open his eyes Carl remained partially submerged in the water with only his face protruding. And then...lick.

Carl opened his eyes in surprise as he came face to face with the older vigilante. " _Did she just lick me?"_ As if Tao had somehow heard his thought she proceeded to lick him once again...on the poor boy's mouth. In an instant Carl fully submerged himself into the water. Straining his eyes and pursing his lips Carl sunk into the the water with the full intent of remaining there forever. It was one thing finding the women around him attractive. Noel, Tsubaki, Makoto and Litchi. That was okay as they were sane. Maybe a little eccentric but still sane. Tao is Tao and as far removed from sane as possible. Doesn't matter if she's pretty or a free spirit, insanity is an immediate deal breaker. Nope, better to drown in the water then deal with that headache. Of course Tao had other plans and in one movement grabbed Carl's sides and lifted him out of the water into her loving embrace. "Got ya Shorty! Tao wins!"

"...Yay…" said the poor vigilante in the most monotone voice possible. If Tao noticed his tone she didn't show it as she continued to squeeze Carl in her hug. His face was now squarely pressed against her chest because of course it was. "I hate this cliche so much yet here I am. What's next? Is an accidential kiss on my resume, too?"

"What are you talking about Shorty?"

"...Just shut up and enjoy your bath Tao."

"Okay!" With that Carl and Tao spent the next hour or so making the most of their bath together. Most of it was spent playing with the rubber ducks and blowing bubbles for Tao. Carl spent his time clearing his head and making sure that after they were done to never leave the bathroom door unlocked again. As their private time together came to a close Tao decided to share her thoughts. "This was fun Shorty! Let's do this all the time!"

"I don't think so Tao."

"Come on Shorty! Please? Pretty please? Pretty please with a Super Mega Ultra Turbo Extended Edition Meat Bun on top?!" Just the thought of such a meat bun was leaving Tao's mouth watering. " _I_ _really need to get Boobie Lady after this to make me some meat buns, meow_ _._ " Carl was less than impressed.

"No Tao. How about I buy you a dozen meat buns and we never do this again?"

"Hmmmmm~." The cat pondered for a moment. Carl was pretty sure she was only pretending to really think. Then a moment later Tao had a answer. "Two dozen."

"Deal." With that Carl got up and prepared to drain the water from the tub and forget this incredibly awkward experience. Moving over the cat girl to get to the drain Carl moved one foot forward and with momentum reached for the drain. His other foot decided today it hated Carl, perhaps some incident with a stubbed toe in the past, and immediately lost its footing taking itself and the rest of its owner done with it. Right over the perfectly positioned Kaka cat girl below. " **Wah**!"

With the return of Carl's manly scream and and a thud Carl once again closed his eyes and braced for impact. And **SPLASH!**

His landing was surprising damage free, from what he could tell anyway. He wasn't sure about his bath mate but he was fine. " _Can only hope Tao is okay after-"_

"Mmmmmmm~" '... _Was that Tao?'_ Finally Carl prepared to open his eyes, if only to see why Tao was making that sound. " _Actually my mouth feels pretty moist right now. Drool? And there is something soft on my face. Where did I land on Tao-Wait don't tell me?_ " Carl's thoughts were immediately cut off as he found out exactly where he was. Opening his eyes Carl found out where on Tao his own face was pressed against. Tao's mouth, specifically her lips. And his own lips were sitting rather comfortably over her own.

" **Wah!** " Thrice Carl's totally masculine scream appeared but now it was accompanied by a blushing, confused and clearly happy Cat girl and an irate Clover. Not just because his first kiss was a literal face plant but mostly because-

" **I JINXED IT!** "

* * *

 **Author's Note: Wrote this in a few hours. Not much just something I had in my head. Will probably continue with a different bath mate. Maybe Bang or Amane. Really drive it over the top. Until next time. Happy Birthday Carl!**

 **UPDATE 10/17/2015: Retreading a story is FUN! Thank you for the follows, reviews and favorites!**


	2. Bang Screams Alot

"ACHOO!" In the great expanse that was The 13th Hierarchical City of Kagutsuchi Carl Clover stood out. Vigilante, far too much purple, metal tie, puppet sister; anyway you spun it Carl stood out and currently Carl stood out even more then he normally did. He had a cold. And it wasn't exactly making itself subtle. "Why do I have a cold NOW!", the boy said with a sniff. "Of all the times to NOT want to be noticed."

 _Are you refering perhaps to Miss Taokaka?_

"No comment." The one Carl was currently addressing was his marionette companion and sister in a shell Ada. Even having lost the ability to speak she could still communicate with Carl telepathically. And boy did she give Carl one serious dressing down the day before.

 _If you two wanted privacy you could've just locked the door._

"Nothing happened Sis."

 _You were on top of her._

"It was an accident."

 _You were naked._

"We had underwear on!" The boy was sporting a deep shade of red across his face and whose voice was getting progressively louder. To the people around him it looked as though an insane boy was having a converation with himself. And losing! The crowd reacted accordingly. Which ment quickly getting as far away from the psycho as reasonably possible. Ada contiued undeterred.

 _You were in there for over two hours! I know you wanted your privacy but if your going to invite a girlfriend over at least tell me._

"She's not my girlfirend! Tao just let herself in! It was-ACHOO!"

 _You let her STAY Carl! You took a bath with her! I don't mind if you have a girlfriend just tell me when she's over, that's all want to be clear here._

"It's not like-ACHOO!"

"DID SOMEONE SAY GIRLFIREND?!" Before Carl could continue a loud, booming voice yelled from the rooftops. It could only be one person.

"Oh no, please tell me that isn't who I think it it is."

"BANG SHISHIGAMI, DEFENDER OF LOVE AND JUSTICE, IS HERE! HA-HA-HA-HA-HAA!"

 _I believe it is Carl. Just a guess though._

"Your sarcasm goes unwanted Ada."

Pirched on top of one of Orient Town's many buildings was one Bang Shishigami, Carl's sort-of-not-really-master and all around loud mouth. It seems he had been listening in on Carl and Ada's "conversation" from up on the roofs. Carl made a mental note to speak in only a whisper for the remainder of his life.

With a leap, that from that distance would kill most people and included an unnecessary flip in the air, Bang landed right in front of Carl and immediately embraced the boy. "Wait, Master Bang I have a col-MMMPH!" Carl was slammed right into Bang's chest. **HIS MANLY CHEST!** If anyone had told Carl that he was going to be pushed into the chest of an idiot catgirl and an incredibly sweaty ninja in less then two days he...probably would've believed them. The world hated him like that.

"THE GODS OF LOVE HAVE FINALLY SMILED DOWN UPON YOU, MY CUTE LITTLE DISCIPLE! TRULY THIS IS A SIGN! IF MY PUPIL CAN FIND LOVE THEN SURELY THE LOVE OF MISS LITCHI AND I CAN NOT BE FAR BEHIND!" Carl wasn't entirely sure were Bang's reasoning was coming from but it sure wasn't from reality. Carl would have made a snappy comeback but he was too busy losing consciousness from the combination of Bang's sweat and overly tight hug. Bang was oblivious. "MARK MY WORDS, I, BANG SHISHIGAMI, WILL-Oh yes Miss Ada?" Before Bang could continue his no doubt engrossing speech Ada decided to give him a quick poke in the shoulder to get his attention. She then pointed down at her brother in Bang's arms. He was currently a beautiful shade of blue. Also, unconscious. "MASTER CARL! NOOOOOOO! DON'T GO INTO THE LIGHT! YOU JUST GOT A GIRLFRIEND, DON"T LEAVE HER IN TEARS ALREADY!" Carl remained unmoving.

* * *

When Carl awoke from his dreamless sleep it was anything but gentle. It involved water. Hot spring water. And a drop. And sudden heat. Not nice, is what I'm saying. Generally ungood.

" **AHHHH!** " Out popped the Clover in all his blond haired glory. He didn't really look glorious in any meaningful way, he was red as a tomato and looked terrified, but he had returned to the living world and at least deserved some kind of recognition for that. But I'm a narrator, so my opinion means nothing. "WHERE AM I?! IS THIS HEAVEN?! IS HEAVEN A HOT SPRING?!" The boy was clearly in a panic but on the bright side his cold seems to have gone."ACHOO!" Never mind.

"Master Carl! Welcome back to the world of the living! I, BANG SHISHIGAMI, am glad to see you're alright! I apologize for my actions earlier. It seems I do not know the strength of these STRONG MANLY ARMS! HA-HA-HA-HAA! And no longer are you that ugly shade of blue but a wonderful shade of red. **A MAN'S COLOR!** But please, enjoy the hot spring while you recuperate Master Carl." Well at least Bang looked content. Carl however was anything but.

"I could have DROWNED! Don't just throw people into hot springs! Are you crazy?!" This was one unhappy Clover but from the looks of it Bang is just taking it all in stride. Probably treating this as part of Carl's "ninja training" or some such. With a deep breath Carl tried to calm his nerves but the congestion he still had was not helping. As he looked down he noticed he seemed to be wearing a smaller version of Bang's red loincloth. He'll be embassed about that later. At least the hot spring might clear his sinuses, so that was something. "Master Bang thank you for this...hot spring awakening but may I ask where my sister and my clothes are so we can both leave."

"Why she's enjoying a game of volleyball with my subordinates and the Kaka kittens! See for yourself." With a grin Bang pointed to the other side of the spring. With a turn Carl did in fact see his sister playing volleyball but it seemed rather unfair. It was Ada alone on one side with Bang's subordinates and a few Kaka kittens all together. Carl would have questioned it if it wasn't painfully clear that Ada was winning. And trash talking from the sounds of it. Of course only Carl could hear what she was saying.

"You don't need to mention anyone's mother Ada! And why are you speaking German?! They can't even hear you!" Carl went ignored as their game contined. If mother could hear Ada right now, she would be having a fit. Back to the topic at hand, Carl began to wonder which hot spring this was. "Master Bang, where in Kagetsuchi are we where you can play volleyball in the middle of the spring without any problems?"

"Why this is the Kaka Hot Spring, Master Carl! Rejuvenates body and soul, or so the rumors say. Miss Tao was kind enough to let us use it! We had to travel here in blindfolds but for what we're getting, I feel it was absolutely worth it! HA-HA-HA-HAA!"

"Again with the laugh, ugh. At least my sinuses are clearing up. Better thank Miss Kitty next time I-wait? Miss Kitty brought us here?" Realization began to draw on the young Clover's face.

"Why yes she did! Such a good little disciple, always caring for others no matter the burden. She seemed especially worried about you Master Carl, though considering the situation we were in I'm not surprized. Licking your face, pawing your clothes, removing your clothes, CPR, etcera. You'd almost assume she was in love with how determined she was to keep you alive. Quite humorous wouldn't you agree." Bang had on a geniune smile pastered on his face in complete contrast to Carl's look of absolute terror. Bang could only respond puzzlingly with a short, "What?"

"SHORTY!" And like a shark out of the ocean, the catgirl appeared from the water and pounced on the puppetter boy.

* * *

 **Author's Note: This isn't as over the top as I had hoped but rest assured by the next chapter all logic and reason are going out the window. Hopefully it won't take months to upload the next character. I don't know if I really need to say this but Blazblue is property of Arc System Works. But did I really need to say that?**


	3. You're managed to avoid drowning!

"Something crazy is going to happen. I don't know what but it's going to be crazy. And I'm not going to be able to stop it if it get's through." Once again we find our Vigilante protagonist sitting alone in a body of water. Everyone had decided after Tao's little impersonation of a shark that it was best to leave. Mainly because of the incredibly strong glare Carl was now sporting. Ada liked to call it "The Patriarch's Stare" after her father Relius's exact same and equaly frightening glare. She would never mention that to Carl though; not in this life time. Currently Carl was sitting in the middle of the hot spring trying to figure out what would CERTAINLY happen next. "It is going to happen here and I have to stop it. But where is it going to come from?"

Carl looked around the entire pool. Any crack, any gap, any opening and SOMETHING would happen. Tao would jump up out of nowhere and take him on a trip through space, maybe Bang would have him hunt for tapioca in order to save the world from mutated pandas or maybe the Black Beast would get into a drunken dance off with Azrael and the Imperator! Anything could happen and anything would happen and he had to make sure it didn't. Like maybe someone who previously died would come back for no adequately explained reason and have some kind of weird super power! With a freaky green glow like in the cartoons! "Maybe it turns out that Relius isn't my father BUT WAS REALLY ME FROM THE FUTURE WHO TRAVELED INTO THE PAST USING A CAULDRON AND I'M REALLY MY OWN FATHER!...No, that sounds stupid. And overly complicated. And kind of gross." As Carl began to rethink his supposed "logical conclusions" a faint green glow was quickly falling out of the sky. As if by magic, a vengeful god or just really bad luck it was aimed right at Carl. It's glow was beginning to cover Carl completely so of course the boy looked up.

"Huh, was the sun always green?" As the green glow got closer and closer it became more and more clear what it was. "It that...a person?" It was falling fast and getting closer and Carl had no way to slow it down. "Maybe it will burn up before it hits." It's speed increased. "Maybe it's friendly." It was nearly there. "Maybe I'm doomed." It was right on top of Carl and it was aimed dead center and Carl had no where to go now. It seems are dear hero's story has come to an end-Oh he stepped slightly to the right. **AND CRASH!**

As it hit the center of the hot spring all the water was forced up into the air in one huge burst with Carl pulled upward as well. The sound could only be compared to the sound a meteor makes after it finally makes impact. All of Kagutsuchi was certain to have heard it and if not at least felt it. Carl had his arms behind his head and his legs crossed in a rather comfortable position. "If I'm going to die at least I'll die composed like the gentleman I am." As the water reached it's highest point it quckly dropped back down with Carl in tow. Just before impact Carl decided to share what could possibly be his last two cents. "Oh, screw being a gentleman! Suck it Fate!" Carl flipped off the sky. **AND CRASH!**... AGAIN!

* * *

Once again Carl greeted the empty expanse that was the unconsiousness. Is it bad he was getting used to this? Tomorrow he was definitely going to the doctor's office and maybe a therapist. "Actually, I should probably see a psychiatist. Actually, in hindsight maybe I sound have done that immediately AFTER Ada got turned into Nirvana. Two years isn't too late to cure the mental scars, right?" As Carl began to ponder all that things he, quite frankly, should have thought about before getting into this mess he suddenly felt a light pressure on his chest. "Maybe my soul is being pulled out of my chest. Does your whole body go to Heaven or just your soul? Oh who am I kidding, if I'm going anywhere it's definitely not Heaven." The pressure was getting heavier and heavier and it felt like air was being pushed into his lungs from somewhere close. "I'm probably in Limbo or something. I'm not going to have to carry a rock around for eternity am I?"

"Please awaken. Analyze shows your heart rate decreasing steadily. Please awaken." A voice could be heard from the empty expanse. It was incredible monotone and could easily be determined to be female.

"Huh, so God's female? Well I won't question it. If my father's the Devil then I'm probably the Anti-Christ anyway." He wasn't going to fight this anymore. If it was his time then there was nothing be could do about it. "Just hope Ada can get by without me. Oh, why I am I worried, Ada was always better than me at everything so she's probably better off without me." The pressure on his chest was reaching a fever pitch and the air in his lungs was pushing in with more gusto.

"Please return to functional capacity. I am doing all I can but you must fight as well. Please awaken."

"You want me to wake up?" Carl wasn't sure how he was suppose to wake up but if God said so then he guessed he had to try. "Alright, just make sure nothing awkward happens OK? Please and thank you." The pressure on is chest was gone but this air in his lungs was still present. In fact it started to feel like something was pushed against his face. Something soft and warm. It felt nice and...why did his mouth feel slimy?

Then the light hit Carl's face.

* * *

*COUGH!* Carl lerched forward in one quick motion. He attempted to take great big gasps of air and his whole body felt cold. He turned over and got on his knees as water was hurled out of his chest though his mouth. As the water left his body Carl took in as much air as he could. It seems he would not be meeting his maker this day. *GASP!* "That's the last time I tempt fate. Fate doesn't like being tempted."

"You are no longer in danger of drowning. Lambda's mission was successful. Yay for Lambda." Carl turned to his left to see the person who had most likely saved him. Her voice was in the same monotone he had heard before and she had a small smile on her face. As she congratulated herself she lightly fist pumped the air in a rather awkward and slow fashion. She probably had never done that before but always wanted to. She was wearing some rather odd clothing and had a visor coving her face. Then it hit him.

"You're the girl from before. The girl who attacked Sis and I." Carl looked at the girl with a rather confused expression. He had only met this girl once before but if memory serves she very likely works for Sector Seven.

"You are the wielder of Deus Machina: Nirvana. We had met previously on Master Kokonoe's orders. Lambda remembers you started crying."

"That's not my sister's name!" Carl would have commented on the crying part but he honestly couldn't deny it. He is an emotional person, no point in trying to save face. The girl simply nodded her head once and stared at him. Coughing lightly into his hand, Carl tried his best to act polite with the strange girl. She did save his life after all. "Anyway, thank you for saving me. I don't know what would have happened if you hadn't shown up."

"If Lambda had not apppeared you would lost likely be relativly unharmed. Due to Lambda's unplanned landing, the situation which caused your near-fatal experience to occur was Lambda's doing." The girl, who's name was most likely Lambda if this reviting conversation was anything to go by, continued to stare at Carl as she spoke in the most robotic monotone he had ever heard.

"Well..." The girl was articulate, that much was certain. "...You still saved me. Even if it was your fault...And my fault for not getting out of the way. That was idiotic." Carl felt like slapping himself in the face. What person sees a glowing mass of energy come twords them and just stands there! At least he now knew what it was he was waiting for. Now on to stage two. Avoiding the situation at all costs! "Well, it was nice meeting you Miss Lambda and once again thank you for saving me but I really must be going. Places to be, Fathers to kill, you know normal stuff. Hope to meet you again someday. Goodbye!" Carl started running down the spring at break neck pace and began to distance himself from the girl. Lambda continued to look on with a blank expression. This would be a snap! No more hijinks for this Clover. Nuh-uh. No way, no how. Absolutely not-

" **Warping Space**." And in an instant everything started getting less fast and more...not fast. Carl looked down at his feet and found he was both running in place and also surrounded by a strange barrier. Looking back up Carl could see Lambda in front of him, floating mind you, with her hands outstretched. Carl continued to run in place as Lambda spoke. "Lambda would like to know your name, if at all possible." Carl didn't stop running. In fact he got faster as he responded to the girl.

"Carl Clover. Now please let me go on my way!"

"Searching...searching...searching..." The barrier still surrounded Carl as Lambda processed the newly received data. Carl was leaving literal dust behind him at this point as he tried to escape the gravitational pull of Lambda's barrier. He was still failing horribly but give the guy an A for effort. "Search complete. Subject: Carl Clover. World renowned Vigilante and wielder of...what is your sister's name?"

Carl stopped running and took in huge gaps of air. Sweat was falling down his face and entire torso. Maybe it was a good thing he was only wearing a loincloth? His clothes at least wouldn't get ruined with sweat. As he calmed down he stood straight and stared Lambda down. _'Why should I answer your questions if you're practically holding me hostage?'_ Lambda just continued to stare at Carl, waiting for his response. Finally getting tried of looking at Lambda's one eye Carl relented. "Ada. Her name is Ada Clover."

"Wielder of Ada Clover and son of Ignis and Rel...Rel...R-Re-REL-rE-eL-Re!" Lambda head started twitching to the right in quick bursts. Her arms started shaking and her one eye started blinking in and out. She continued her repetition of the beginning of his father's name as if she were a broken record. The barrier below Carl disappeared as Lambda continued to have her meltdown. Finally, Carl simply finished the sentence for her.

"Relius Clover?" At that moment an audible record scratch could be heard coming from Lambda's head. One arm positioned behind her back and the other shot straight up with her head still pointed to the right. She looked like the most poorly postioned human statue ever. Finally she returned to a normal standing postion. She stared at Carl once again with that strange single eye of her's. Finally she spoke.

"Your father is Professor Relius Clover?"

Carl looked to the left and right in visible confusion. _'Did she just have a seizure or something? Was that normal? Are we suppose to pretend that didn't happen? Are you going to freak out again?'_ Carl silently prayed that she wouldn't. Taking a deep breath he answered her. "Yes?"

A brief pause annnnnnd...

"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" With a window shattering scream Lambda shot into the air at high speed. Carl ducked and covered his ears as the girl continued her screaming as she flew into the city. "AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhh..."

Rising up from the ground Carl looked on as the girl flew, never turning his gaze until she was out of sight. He stood there in silence as a horrible feeling of dread washed over him. "There's going to be trouble. And it's going to suck. Hard."

"MASTER CARL!" Turning Carl spotted Bang, Ada and Tao as they ran towards him.

 _'Ever notice how all the exciting stuff happens when everyone's not actually here to see it.'_ Carl didn't know what he did to make the universe hate him but it clearly had a sense of humor.

"A METEOR HIT! It was like a GREAT GREEN DRAGON had flown out of heaven! I was certain we would not be finding you in once piece!" Bang put his arm around Carl in his best impression of a fatherly gesture. "But why was I worried! No disciple of mine, BANG SHISHIGAMI, could ever hope to be bested my a meer rock from space! HA-HA-HA-HAA!" Carl simple looked up at the man with a blank expression. He was rather certain that if it had been a meteor there would be no Kagetsuchi let alone a still functioning hot spring. Meanwhile, Ada was examining Carl's face for any signs of scratches or bruishes as Tao snuggled into his chest. At least everyone was happy he was alive. But why was Ada wearing a numbered jersey and a crown that said "Queen of the Clap Loop"? She clearly noticed her brother's confusion.

 _I'll tell you later._

"Okay then. I'm sure that's not anything major." Sarcasm was the only real way to respond to something like that. Speaking of things that should only be regarded with sarcasm. "Miss Kitty, it would be wonderful if you could let go of me now. I'm rather sweaty, in case you hadn't noticed."

"Mmmmm~ Tao's happy Shorty's OK, meow!" She continued to rub her head against Carl's chest. Carl really hoped this wouldn't become a habit. Tao has already groped every girl and woman in Kagetsuchi and really didn't need Tao's "hobbies" extending to his own chest.

"Master Carl, where is that meteor? Did it disintegrate on impact?" Carl turned to Bang and then turned to the city. Bang followed his gaze as he tried to focus on what Carl was looking at. "What is it, Master Carl?"

 _'That girl is going to show up again. That's always how these stories go. O'well, she saved my life so that's not so bad. Yeah, she saved me. I guess I-wait. She saved me...by using...'_ Then as Carl looked on into the city he suddenly came to a realization.

"CPR!"

"Excuse me, Master Carl?"

"IT WAS CPR!"

* * *

 **Author's Note: So this was a thing. Don't ask me when this story takes place. It's going to be some strange amalgamation of everything. But I don't know how I feel about this. Good? Bad? Feel free to let me know.**

 **Blazblue is property of Yuuki Terumi and the Sunshine Band.**


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